הכרויות סקס|הכרויות סקס בחינם

I’ve been thinking about whether one of my relationship preferences is actually unreasonable, and I’d really like some honest perspectives.

I don’t drink and I don’t smoke, and ideally I want a partner who is also a non-drinker and non-smoker. Whenever I mention this in a group, people react quite strongly. I’ve heard things like, “Are you seriously judging someone’s character based on that?” or “Are you going to reject someone just because they have a drink sometimes?” and it always makes me second-guess myself.

The thing is, it’s not about thinking people who drink or smoke are “bad” or lesser. I just personally want someone with similar habits and lifestyle choices. Life is already uncertain and unpredictable when it comes to health and the future. I don’t really want to add extra, avoidable risk on top of that because of substances. I’d like a relatively healthy spouse for my future children, and I don’t feel it’s wrong to want that, especially when I’m holding myself to the same standard.

So I’m wondering:
1) Is it actually unfair or judgmental to prefer a non-drinker, non-smoker partner if I’m also a non-drinker, non-smoker?
2) Where do you think the line is between having personal standards/compatibility preferences and being overly judgmental?

I’d really like to hear how others see this, especially from people in relationships where your habits around drinking/smoking do or don’t match.